Someone asked me, “Can something be addicted to someone? Isn’t it the other way round?”.. Well, many things have been happening in my life that cause me to feel this way..
It’s not simple math,..true we are the ones supposed to be addicted to something..but what if we don’t want it? What if we hate it? But it keeps on happening to you over and over again?.. Then you’d ask yourself, “Why me? Why do I have to deal with this thing?”
It starts with a thought…curiosity..a naive mind looking for something it reckons it needs..then a thought turns into something you can’t get your mind off..you know it’s wrong, something tells you it’s wrong.. but you can’t help it..the more you think about it, the better it sounds..that’s the birth of your death, the beginning of your end.
Thoughts turn into actions, and the actions feel so much better than the initial thoughts.. You love the feeling but you know it’s wrong. But oh well..you choose to live in the moment, but is it the right moment?
Consequences of your actions. You realise that the so-called “good feeling” is killing you softly, and you’re dying slowly..like why do we like to hurt so much? So now you’re trying to fight it off, resistance is not working, as it has gotten the better of you. You tell yourself you won’t do it again, you’ll make a change, but wait…will you really?
Maybe you will and maybe you won’t, you’d go back to thinking about it, craving for it. And the cycle continues…
I know, I know, it sounds like someone is addicted to something,..the typical addiction. May it be drugs, food, blah blah..but there’s a twist to my story, I didn’t want any of this to happen, I hated it..it was killing me inside. But I couldn’t help it, it kept on happening over and over again. I tell myself I’ll be strong and it won’t happen again. Then it hits me hard, real hard.
But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, a silver lining on my dark gloomy clouds. But as I said, it’s a repetitive cycle, same process, same results..so what happened was unexpected. I realised that I was the one who starts the war in me and I had the power to kill the thing that was addicted to me. I took my power and used it. I still had a tad of fear but the risk was worth the while.. The cycle was about to begin again and I had to do something, and so I did, I played the game..this time, the right way. And the results were unbelievably believable…:)